Yes, I am a Family Guy fan, hence the title "What Grinds My Gears". Today I am focusing on Public Restrooms. I just need to vent a bit here and I'm sure you guys will have something to add....
First of all, who the hell came up with the automatic flusher? I can't believe some of my tax dollars pay for these things. If you are a squatter because you don't like to sit on the germ-infested toilet, then sometime, in a public restroom somewhere, you have probably been mid-squat when the very sophisticated sensor detected movement and automatically flushed the toilet. At this point, fear sets in and you either close your eyes and pray that the toilet water doesn't splash you, or you try to move away from the splash and end up peeing on yourself in the process. Of course, when you have to pooh, the thing NEVER works even when you want it to - you have to practically run out of there with your head down because you don't want the next person to see the face of the person that left them a prize! You can't win. What was wrong with the old style flushers. I guess if you can't balance on one foot and step on flusher, you might appreciate the automatic flusher, but certainly there are other options for one-step-flusher-challenged folks.
Second, if you are not a squatter, then you perhaps you put down half a roll of toilet paper on the seat before sitting and as soon as you turn around to pull your pants down, the toilet flushes and either pulls the paper down with it or splashes on the seat, gets the paper wet and you are forced to start all over. This happened to me 3 times the other day. You try to move away from the toilet and lay the paper down with outstretched arms so that you don't set off the sensor. Of course, the other option is to use those sheets they have in the stalls now to cover the toilet? They are so thin I am not convinced that they really protect you from the germs....and they never seem to rip in the right place! The way they are packaged, there is no reason to perforate them in the first place - you should just be able to pull out a sheet with the hole already cut out...wtf??
Third, if you sit on the seat without putting something between your bum and the seat, then I'm sorry but you deserved to get splashed!!
Speaking of germs....I am one of those people that will take a couple of paper towels before I wash my hands and use them to turn the faucet on and off and to open the door when I leave. What's the point of washing your hands if you are just going to press down on the dirty lever to get a paper towel afterwards? Sure, you can try to push the lever down with your elbow but then you usually get water all down your arms and sleeves because they install them so damn high up on the wall. I'm vertically challenged as it is! Oh, and if they only have air dryers, I will just use toilet paper to dry my hands - what else are you going to open the door with in that case? Most of the toilet paper in public restrooms is about as hard as a paper towel anyway. Either that or it's so thin and flimsy you pull on it and get one square at a time. (From the words of Elaine on Seinfeld, can't you just spare a square???) How about those toilet paper holders that always get caught and you have to stick your hand up there to turn the roll manually. OMG, my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it.
That said, I have a true appreciation for the restrooms that have a trash can (WITHOUT A LID) next to the door so you have somewhere to throw the paper towel (or toilet paper) after you open it. Those responsible for public restrooms who don't think about those things, deserve to have paper towels strewn all over the place. I bet all of you have tried to make a two-pointer from the door... if you miss, you are not going back for another try! If the trash can has a lid, it's just a free-for-all. I have even left the paper towel in the door handle....what? I'm thinking of the next guy!! My hands are clean at that point!!
Notice I didn't even get into the disgusting habits of the patrons of public restrooms, but you guys can go for it.....what grinds your gears??













